Church Hurts…….

As a young child, church was all I knew outside of going to school and an occasional trip to Grandma’s house. We woke up faithfully every Sunday morning, at the crack of dawn to take an hour drive to the country for fellowship and worship. We attended a small family church with a membership of about 100 people. The church building was made of stone and the visual from the outside gave the impression of strong church values, unity and family love. From the outside looking in the building was inviting; however on the inside the judgment, abuse, neglect, criticism and back stabbing ran rampant.

I was about six or seven and remember watching silently as families were torn apart, hearts were broken and spirits were crushed. The children were taught to be seen and not heard. Our voices were stolen, thoughts were curbed and our cries were unheard.This was a church of very strict rules. The Bible was used as weapon and the only thing taught was fear.


I didn’t understand what it was like to love God as a child because I was taught that if I didn’t follow the “church rules” I would go to hell. In my mind God was a punisher. How could God love me if he and his people only hurt and punished me? In this church you were ostracized and talked about if you didn’t live a certain way, shout a certain way or dress a certain way. You were called out publically for your sins and short comings. Your sins were tattoos, they hurt and you were stuck with them for life. If this is was church, where do you go when you are hurt, when you are lost and have no one to turn to?

I never learned a single Bible verse and can’t remember a single song. What I did take from the experience was a heart of hurt, the inability to trust and the struggle of believing. Over the years my faith grew and I learned to love my Savior but I struggled with “church”. I visited many churches throughout my teens and early twenties and even joined a few along the way. I experienced the same back-stabbing, the same gossiping and even more judgment and ostracizing. I decided to worship God on my own and remove the “church” from my life.

But God….. wasn’t finished, he wanted me closer to Him, He wanted me to worship with His people and He wanted me to learn His word. He brought me to Life House and told me I was home. Through my amazingly wonderful, Heavenly Father and my gifted and anointed Pastor and First Lady I am learning to break the chains. I am learning to trust. Not only I am learning His word but I’m spreading it as well. Not only do I remember the songs Lady Kris sings every Sunday morning but I sing them all week long and they bring me through the storms.


Pastor Sonny teaches with love and compassion and goes to war for his congregation. The Life House has given me a new outlook on the church. I am gaining the voice that was stolen and I am learning to trust and love again. Most importantly I am connected to vine of Christ forever and I love God more than I ever thought was ever possible. The Life House is a dwelling were God shows up and shows out every Sunday. You may have been abused by those that should I have restored you but God never forsakes us. God loves you and wants to heal your pain. Seek God with all your heart. -John 10:10

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